About Us

God has set me free from the burdens my own mind placed upon me. 

My name is Brett, I live in Retford, and until a month ago I was not a Christian and never wanted to be one. 

Since I was a child, I have had severe anxiety. In the last 8 years it became so bad that I could barely leave the house for more than thirty minutes without feeling a deep and almost paralyzing panic. I couldn’t control it, and I had no control over when it would be too severe to control.

I had depression, often without realizing it. I would think about suicide, how to do it and when. I told myself this was normal, to want to die, and besides, I wasn’t ever going to go through with the schemes I had in my mind. Except, I didn’t really value my life, just that it would be burdensome to others to end it. 

I felt trapped, unable to break free, and because I didn’t value myself, I had no real motivation to want to. God has saved me from a prison my own mind built around me. 

With his help, I went from being agoraphobic, having not left the house for nearly a year, to a week later spending hours outside my home, everyday, without once feeling anxious or panicky. 

How?

 Well, I don’t really know, that’s the thing, I didn’t feel a miraculous transformation, I just got up and left the house. I asked him for help, and the next day, he provided it. When I was struggling, feeling uncomfortable in the heat, I asked for help, and he gave me a breeze. 

He did so almost as soon as I genuinely allowed myself to believe he could help me.  

For the first 29 years of my life, I believed that Christianity was a book of out-dated morals and old superstition. I didn’t understand why people believed so fervently, and felt uncomfortable around Christians. Prayer felt alien, uncomfortable, something ‘weird’ people do.    

I didn’t believe it because I couldn’t see or prove God was real. I can still offer no proof that God is real. Yet by opening my heart to God, I learned that there is a strength in trusting him to be by my side. Nothing I had before I became a Christian provided that strength. Without opening myself up to Christ, I would still be miserable and isolated.  

Two moments opened my heart to Christ. The first was seeing my mum, who was timid and suffering with her own health problems, become strong and confident after she fully embraced God. The other was listening to a Christian called Holly speak to someone on the phone. She offered a man in turmoil comfort and compassion despite barely knowing him. 

She showed genuine love for a stranger, and that made me realize this is what I want to live like; full of love and compassion. So I began to pray, genuinely, and ask for help. I didn’t decide it was real, I just chose to have faith. I went from being sure about everything but being empty, to accepting I knew nothing yet feeling full of joy, compassion, and patience. 

I am not ‘cured’ of my mental health problems, I feel them tugging at me a lot. Yet unlike before, I now have a strength to turn to. I now feel like I can get better, I have value and that god loves me. 

I cannot offer you a guarantee that they will be helped in exactly the same way because it is not my gift to provide; it is yours and gods. All I can offer is prayer. I just pray that anyone who reads this will find hope in my testimony. I hope that others will open their hearts to God after reading it. I hope that they will be sincere and that when God answers, whatever their burdens, they will be able to listen and be saved, like I was   

Having been away from the church in somewhat of a backslidden state for some twenty or so years, I was called back to repentance quite dramatically at the beginning of the first lockdown. I had felt Gods presence and voice stirring me over the last couple of years but then came a mighty revelation. 

Despite what to most people would seem like a successful and comfortable life, I became aware of what an abject failure I had been in most of my life and relationships and I broke down and wept unconsolably. 

It was at this time that I felt Jesus walked into that living room and lifted the weight of my feelings of desperation and failure off my shoulders and I had a vision of Him on the cross and my sin and

shame placed upon Him. I knew this was my opportunity to get right with God and change my life. 

I said to God that whatever was left of my life, I wanted to dedicate to Him and serve Him with all my heart. 

I had been in a relationship for 10 years and I knew that I had to walk away and leave everything. I also ran a business and it was necessary to let that go too in order to serve God fully with no hindrances or distractions. Those who knew me thought I was crazy, they said ‘But tony, you had everything and were set up for life’. I told them that it was quite the opposite and I was actually set up for death but now having let go of everything I was entering life in all its fullness.

Having been a pastor and involved in leadership of what was regarded as a lively and dynamic church before I had backslidden, I was keen to re-establish myself within the body of Christ.

I was not interested in leadership or position, I just basically wanted a hug and embrace from a fellow brother or sister in Christ, that feeling of fellowship and knowing that I was back in the family of God from which I had walked away from all those years earlier.
 

However, it was lockdown. Everywhere was shut up. Even families stopped seeing each other such was the government and media fuelled paranoia. Surely I thought this is a great opportunity for the church to come to the fore, to rediscover its voice in the midst of this confusion and deception. To announce to a depleted, demoralised and fearful people the good news of the kingdom of heaven and the salvation available through Jesus the Christ. To shine as lights in the midst of an ever increasing darkness.  

To my shock and horror, there was no distinction between the church and the world. Churches closed down and buckled to the agenda parroting the latest false news and hysterical propaganda, cowering in fear behind closed doors. 

My freshly awakened faith struggled to reconcile events and the situation, I sought God feverishly to try and make sense of what was happening both in the world and in the church. 

To cut a long story short, I met up with the guys from Open Worship and found a family of people who really loved the Lord and were sold out to Him. After a short while of travelling over from Nottingham to help and support the great work these guys were doing it became clear that it was right for me to move over to Retford and join the team. 

I now live with Kris and Holly and we are dedicated to preaching the gospel and serving wherever the lord leads us. We currently are involved in outreach, discipleship, training and are looking to establish links with other churches both locally and nationally to support and resource the advance of the Kingdom of God wherever we can.  
 

I was raised a non-believer in an average, down to earth home. I went to a secular school and I knew zero people that outwardly identified as a Christian. My lack of exposure meant I had a very limited and an ignorant view of what Christianity was. I will share with you some of the misconceptions I had and how the Bible completely changed my way of thinking.

I thought Christianity was just another religion whose followers thought they were pretty good compared to ordinary folk. I was repelled by their positivity and kindness. I also thought they were gullible because they put their trust in a mysterious rule book and an imaginary god. I thought that depending on how well they obeyed some laws it would determine their fate – heaven or hell. 

 I couldn’t understand why my partner Kris would talk about this fictional character (Jesus) like he was in the room with us. Even though he loved me it was clear he regarded Jesus as his best friend and number 1 - this frustrated me. What was so good about this Jesus? All I knew was, Kris exuded a joy that I’d never seen in anyone before. He was so confident in his faith that even if his life depended on it, he still wouldn’t deny Christ. I was jealous actually - I wanted that confidence.  

I’d always struggled with low self-esteem but Kris seemed to have self-worth in abundance, which I admired greatly. To top it off he seemed like a lovely, normal bloke! I thought that being a Christian would make life miserable, having to obey old fashioned rules and constantly trying to win Gods favour in order to get to heaven. Of course, I realise now that we are actually saved by Gods incredible mercy and grace through our faith in Jesus and not through any number of good deeds. 

I am naturally a cynical person and I don’t believe anything I read without proof. I had to find out for myself If there really was a God and what did he have to say on matters close to my heart - why is there so much hate, corruption and evil in this world? I also wanted to double check that Kris, who I’d recently fallen in love with, wasn’t worshipping some power hungry, murderous, made-up God.   

So, at the beginning of lock down my quest of discovery began. I started with the king James version of the bible, because nobody had told me otherwise. It was old English and very hard to understand, but things started to click the more I read. I know now that the Holy Spirit was softening my heart and revealing Jesus to me through Gods word. To my surprise my questions were being answered and I began to believe that this Jesus was a real person, just like Kris said he was. However, I struggled to think I could ever truly believe in the resurrection and all the miracle stuff.

My head and heart battled for a few months as I fell more in love with Jesus. I was hesitant because I felt foolish, yet I wanted so much to be part of Gods plan. 

I remember one day just sitting with the overwhelming weight of all this new revelation over me and not knowing what my life would become. I cried because I really believed but I was so reluctant to make that next step. I thought I’d always be too embarrassed to even say the name Jesus and it seemed clear to me from the bible that If I was to become a follower of him, I couldn’t do it half-heartedly or secretly.

Suddenly, on a cold miserable day whilst we were food shopping, I was convicted. I said to Kris that I wanted to be baptised - so we took the shopping back and drove to the river, nervously. To be honest I expected a magical poof and sudden understanding when I emerged. I’m not going to lie it was just cold – exhilarating, but no magical poof of understanding. However, it was the moment I handed over the controls, back to my creator, lord and saviour Jesus Christ – I was born again, a new creation. 

Ever since that day God has provided me with resources to help me make sense of his word and more recently, I am experiencing of the importance of fellowship and strong relationships with other believers. 

The LORD has blessed me by bringing me alongside my husband and we work together to share the good news wherever we go. I can’t even imagine my life now without Jesus. Without God there is no purpose, no hope and no meaning to life, I lacked any direction and self-worth but now I know exactly who I am and my purpose. I am a daughter of the living God and follower of Jesus, I want to allow his love and salvation power to shine through me and bring glory to him in everything I do. He is my rock, my fortress and my saviour. 

I Always believed in God as a child, I would pray a lot because I felt comforted by it. I often felt a warmth, knowing that God was in the room with me. It wasn’t really something I questioned - he was just so real to me.

Unfortunately, my faith didn’t continue into adulthood. As much as I still believed, I didn’t really know it was possible, as an adult, to have a real relationship with Jesus.

So, life happened - I didn’t have a nice childhood and I went through things that no child should ever have to experience. Because of my brokenness, I ended up making poor decisions and fell into the wrong relationships that were toxic and abusive. 

At 21 I was in such a dark place that I tried to commit suicide, I just couldn’t cope with life and I didn’t want to be here any longer. I didn’t feel I had any strength to carry on, I felt so alone like nobody could help me.

I struggled with depression, anxiety, and PTSD for years after and ended up seeing so many doctors, counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists to get help. I have had lots of support and it was nice to talk but nothing was able to help and get rid of the trauma I had suffered. 

Many years later I started to question my faith I wanted to seek Jesus but didn’t know how or where to begin.

Until one beautiful Sunday back in January 2022, I stumbled across the guys from Open Worship on the market square and chatted to a guy called Darren who prayed over my partner and me right there and then. Wow, the warmth and comfort I felt from that prayer was breathtaking! It was the same feeling that I had all those years ago when I was a little girl and prayed out for my mum.

However, a few weeks passed and I hadn’t reached out any further. I was still struggling to find happiness and was desperate for love and affection like I had done all my life. 

I went back to speak to the guys on the market square and Kris pointed out that I was looking for love in the wrong places, and that only Jesus could show me the love I longed for. I thought this guy sounded crazy and went away still feeling confused.

I was then invited to a worship night at Mattersey, and for me, this is where things clicked. Oh, my goodness, it was amazing! During the music I felt God's arms around me and a warmth entered my body I was overcome with emotion, and the tears streamed down my face. 

While I had my eyes closed, he was showing me my childhood and all the trauma and abuse, but he was saying to me - Deb, I was there. Everything I had suffered when I was a little girl, he was there. The time my Mum tried to suffocate me, he was there. All the suffering in my relationships, the time I tried to take my own life - he was there. 

It was overwhelming and very emotional. I suddenly felt that love that everyone told me about, why did I not reach out before that day? Only God knows. 

I was baptised in the river Idle earlier this year and since then I’ve loved learning about God's word with so many of my friends. I love listening to worship music and at every opportunity, I meet with my Christian family to worship and pray together. The love that God has poured out on me and the peace he gives me is remarkable, I feel so blessed.

Right at the beginning of my journey, my friends laid hands on me and prayed for me to be healed of PTSD. This was something I struggled with for most of my life, and I would suffer from daily triggers and flashbacks. I no longer suffer from any mental health issues, I am completely healed and set free from PTSD - Praise God!!

To top this year off, I recently had the privilege of baptising two of my family members, my son, my daughter-in-law, and also an old school friend. I am just loving my journey so far, my faith is growing and so is my relationship with God. 

My life feels so complete. I have peace, love, a beautiful Christian family, and God right by my side. I love Jesus so much he has changed my life forever!